Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - If you could have any kind of wedding you wanted, then what would it be like???

lurkette · 09-21-2003, 04:50 AM

Ugh. I hate to use this as an opportunity to rant, but I'm going to do it anyhow.

I don't know precisely when weddings turned into beauty pageants, but it seriously ticks me off. This whole "it's her special day" crap drives me nuts. It's a wedding, a celebration of the union of TWO people. It should be special, sure, but the focus should be on the ceremony, the ritual, the acknowledgement by the community of the relationship and commitment of these two people. It makes me sad and nauseous to see how it's become all about the "perfect day," the dress, the bridesmaids, the flowes, the cake, preserving every single fricking moment for posterity to the point where you forget to savor the moment and appreciate the import of what you're doing. And too often it becomes an excuse for the woman to be the center of attention, to have this "me me me I'm a princess" day that turns ordinarily nice women into Bridezilla. The whole wedding cult just turns me off. The average price tag for a wedding is now something like $18K. That's a new car, or a downpayment on a house. And it seems to me that so many women want a wedding so badly that they overlook little details - like the fact that they SHOULDN'T BE MARRYING THIS PERSON - in order to have their big day.

Now, I'm all for symbolism and for wanting to mark the moment by having a beautiful ceremony and having meaningful music and surrounding yourself with people who are important to you. But honestly, when women start planning their weddings in junior high and then go searching for a guy to prop up across the aisle, I no longer wonder about the divorce rate.

Edit:

Not to totally hijack this thread, let me

1. admit that I'm as guilty as the next person of falling victim to the lure of the fluffy white dress - I had a homemade wedding dress that my aunt made for me and that I love, but every once in a while I see photos of the Virgin Bride in the wedding section of the paper and suffer a pang of longing. Someday I'm just going to go to a $99 sale at David's Bridal and buy one of the damned things and have photos taken of me to exorcise the whole thing and then donate the dress to the Goodwill.

2. respond to the actual question: since I'm already married and we already renewed our vows once, the next vow renewal would be just me and Ratbastid wearing something totally simple and timeless - almost like a djellaba (sp?) - or even naked, on a beach or in the mountains or in the woods, and we'd just say some kind of vow to each other. And then eat petit fours. I love those things. And then we'd go skinnydipping and have good sex and sun ourselves on the shore.

09-21-2003, 04:50 AM	#19 (permalink)
lurkette My future is coming on Moderator Emeritus Location: east of the sun and west of the moon	Ugh. I hate to use this as an opportunity to rant, but I'm going to do it anyhow. I don't know precisely when weddings turned into beauty pageants, but it seriously ticks me off. This whole "it's her special day" crap drives me nuts. It's a wedding, a celebration of the union of TWO people. It should be special, sure, but the focus should be on the ceremony, the ritual, the acknowledgement by the community of the relationship and commitment of these two people. It makes me sad and nauseous to see how it's become all about the "perfect day," the dress, the bridesmaids, the flowes, the cake, preserving every single fricking moment for posterity to the point where you forget to savor the moment and appreciate the import of what you're doing. And too often it becomes an excuse for the woman to be the center of attention, to have this "me me me I'm a princess" day that turns ordinarily nice women into Bridezilla. The whole wedding cult just turns me off. The average price tag for a wedding is now something like $18K. That's a new car, or a downpayment on a house. And it seems to me that so many women want a wedding so badly that they overlook little details - like the fact that they SHOULDN'T BE MARRYING THIS PERSON - in order to have their big day. Now, I'm all for symbolism and for wanting to mark the moment by having a beautiful ceremony and having meaningful music and surrounding yourself with people who are important to you. But honestly, when women start planning their weddings in junior high and then go searching for a guy to prop up across the aisle, I no longer wonder about the divorce rate. Edit: Not to totally hijack this thread, let me 1. admit that I'm as guilty as the next person of falling victim to the lure of the fluffy white dress - I had a homemade wedding dress that my aunt made for me and that I love, but every once in a while I see photos of the Virgin Bride in the wedding section of the paper and suffer a pang of longing. Someday I'm just going to go to a $99 sale at David's Bridal and buy one of the damned things and have photos taken of me to exorcise the whole thing and then donate the dress to the Goodwill. 2. respond to the actual question: since I'm already married and we already renewed our vows once, the next vow renewal would be just me and Ratbastid wearing something totally simple and timeless - almost like a djellaba (sp?) - or even naked, on a beach or in the mountains or in the woods, and we'd just say some kind of vow to each other. And then eat petit fours. I love those things. And then we'd go skinnydipping and have good sex and sun ourselves on the shore. __________________ "If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing." - Anatole France Last edited by lurkette; 09-21-2003 at 04:55 AM..