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Have you discussed this with her? Found out what she thinks is lacking? When you've tried and done as much stuff as you guys have, it might be hard to try new stuff to inject some passion into the relationship. Perhaps, as some people have suggested, injecting some emotional passion into the relationship is required. I don't know much about menopause, but I do know that hormones can seriously fuck up your libido. Not to mention the psychological aspect, for some women, of a clear sign of aging that can make you feel totally undesirable. Just from this little peek into your lives, it doesn't sound like she's the wilting violet, performance anxiety type, but it could be that she's a bit nervous about how you'll perceive her now that she's not "fertile" any more, or about how sex will be with this change.
It sounds a little, though, like in addition to getting laid you also want some emotional intimacy - the part about "feeling wanted."
As usual, my suggestion is to talk to her about it, openly, putting all your cards on the table, and see what she needs.
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"If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."
- Anatole France
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