You need to have a straight, honest conversation with her. THIS is what you need to say:
Quote:
Originally posted by Bad_In_Public
All in all, I'd like to feel wanted again. I'm affectionate towards her, always touching her when I walk by, telling her I Love Her and all that. But I don't get much of a return from her. This is making me crazy. I thought I was hooking up with the right person for life, and now I'm wondering if I'll make it till our aniversary.
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I've been there. My wife recently lost her younger brother in an accident. For some time since then I've been fighting this same battle with myself--she's grieving, she's mourning, sex is the LAST thing on her mind. But in my head, it's a rejection of me as her husband and sex partner. I don't feel wanted or needed or attractive or blah-baddy-blah-blah-blah.
Fact is, it's not any of that mess I'm telling myself. What's going on is, she frequently has her attention on something else, something she NEEDS to have her attention on. It's just selfishness on my part that it looks like something other than that to me.
If you're interested in having this thing go differently, you need to talk straight with her about how you're feeling AND you need to be responsible that it's YOU feeling that way. It may have very little to do with reality. It's real for you, though, and that's what you need to get out in the open. You dig?
If this isn't clear or doesn't make sense, say so and I'll clarify.