Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post

Bad_In_Public · 09-20-2003, 07:00 PM

First off, I'm 44 and my wife is 50 and we have a son (my stepson) who will be moving out soon. We will have been married 13 years come Dec. I love my wife dearly and don't want to split up or anything, YET. My wife is a nurse of 34 years and is set in her ways, so to speak. She works the evening shift, 3-11, and doesn't want to change shifts. That used to be ok when I was on the swing shift for a number of years, we had the week I worked evenings, her days off, and mine, to spend together. Now I have a new job working days. I had been out of work for 10 months, which I now find she is bitter about. Job market is really bad here, more layoffs than jobs to be had.

The real problem is our sex life. Twice a month if lucky. It has been dwindling for a while now. She blames it on menopause although she has only had 2 periods once in a month. She has never missed a period. She still responds sexually when the rare sex comes along. But has no sex drive at all. In our years together we have been pretty wild. Dildos, 3-ways, 4-ways, pictures and even made a vid once (she has since destroyed). So sex, for the most part, has been great. These days she makes excuses for not having sex. She is captain of an internet card team, and would rather play with people she has never met. Example:
Me: Hey babe, you want to fool around?
Her: Such and such said he/she wants a game, and I told him/her I'd play.
Me: fuck it (walks off in disgust)

I know this is as much a rant as wanting advise, but thats the only way I can come across. How can I get my wife to want sex again? Also, now that we will finally have the house alone for the first time in our lives, how can I convence her to take a day shift? I would like to have the "normal" life of two people working day jobs so we can have friends again. We have had two arguements in the past four days about sex/jobs. I went so far as to say we will sleep in separate rooms and live separate lives, don't ask don't tell policy (she hardly ever sleeps with me, doesn't want to wake me before I go to work). There have been times when I'd get up at 5am and she'd still be up playing cards online, and drunk to boot. No knock on the drinking, we both like our beer and probably drink too much.

All in all, I'd like to feel wanted again. I'm affectionate towards her, always touching her when I walk by, telling her I Love Her and all that. But I don't get much of a return from her. This is making me crazy. I thought I was hooking up with the right person for life, and now I'm wondering if I'll make it till our aniversary. Also, from any of you ladies who are menopausal let me know if there is anything medically we can do to improve her sex drive.

09-20-2003, 07:00 PM	#1 (permalink)
Bad_In_Public Upright Location: Da South	Marrage Advise needed First off, I'm 44 and my wife is 50 and we have a son (my stepson) who will be moving out soon. We will have been married 13 years come Dec. I love my wife dearly and don't want to split up or anything, YET. My wife is a nurse of 34 years and is set in her ways, so to speak. She works the evening shift, 3-11, and doesn't want to change shifts. That used to be ok when I was on the swing shift for a number of years, we had the week I worked evenings, her days off, and mine, to spend together. Now I have a new job working days. I had been out of work for 10 months, which I now find she is bitter about. Job market is really bad here, more layoffs than jobs to be had. The real problem is our sex life. Twice a month if lucky. It has been dwindling for a while now. She blames it on menopause although she has only had 2 periods once in a month. She has never missed a period. She still responds sexually when the rare sex comes along. But has no sex drive at all. In our years together we have been pretty wild. Dildos, 3-ways, 4-ways, pictures and even made a vid once (she has since destroyed). So sex, for the most part, has been great. These days she makes excuses for not having sex. She is captain of an internet card team, and would rather play with people she has never met. Example: Me: Hey babe, you want to fool around? Her: Such and such said he/she wants a game, and I told him/her I'd play. Me: fuck it (walks off in disgust) I know this is as much a rant as wanting advise, but thats the only way I can come across. How can I get my wife to want sex again? Also, now that we will finally have the house alone for the first time in our lives, how can I convence her to take a day shift? I would like to have the "normal" life of two people working day jobs so we can have friends again. We have had two arguements in the past four days about sex/jobs. I went so far as to say we will sleep in separate rooms and live separate lives, don't ask don't tell policy (she hardly ever sleeps with me, doesn't want to wake me before I go to work). There have been times when I'd get up at 5am and she'd still be up playing cards online, and drunk to boot. No knock on the drinking, we both like our beer and probably drink too much. All in all, I'd like to feel wanted again. I'm affectionate towards her, always touching her when I walk by, telling her I Love Her and all that. But I don't get much of a return from her. This is making me crazy. I thought I was hooking up with the right person for life, and now I'm wondering if I'll make it till our aniversary. Also, from any of you ladies who are menopausal let me know if there is anything medically we can do to improve her sex drive. __________________ We have enough "youth", how about a fountain of "smart"