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Call him a homo, and since most assholes are homophobes, they'll come after you. Then say "Why would you be offended if it wasn't true?" Then hit him in the head with a ball peen hammer. Then spit on him and finish your beer.
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Lord, have mercy on my wicked soul
I wouldn't mistreat you baby, for my weight in gold.
-Son House, Death Letter Blues
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