lurkette

I've noticed a couple of disturbing things lately on TFP. This place has become like a second home to me, and I'm wondering if I was perhaps too quick to give this community my trust and my admiration.

1. People are so careless with words. I know it's the internet and that because you can just pretty much go direct from brain to keyboard there's a stream-of-consciousness quality to peoples' posts. But that doesn't excuse the fact that some people just seem to spout off whatever shit comes to their mind without thinking about what they really want to say, or how it's going to be perceived by the people who read it. I spend a lot of time on my posts. I think about things. I edit, I re-edit, I just delete a lot of replies that don't really add much to the discussion. I see this as my responsibility to this community.

What you say does matter. Words have value. They're all we have to reach each other, or at least to make that attempt. If you're careless with them, don't blame the rest of us for misinterpreting you or for getting offended because you use offensive words. They may not be directed at me but I can find their use offensive nonentheless.

2. Just because you are entitled to an opinion doesn't mean that you're immune from challenge to your logic or lack thereof. So many peope just yack yack yack about what they think, and then when someone challenges their assumptions they say "well, I'm entitled to my opinion." Fine. And the rest of us are entitled to point out where the information you base your opinion on is wrong, or where your assumptions and logic are just incorrect. I'm sick of this relativistic "everyone's opinion counts" crap, when most people don't take the time to educate themselves or examine their own assumptions. Opinions are not sacrosanct, especially when they're not based on facts.

And what exactly is the point of just running around with your own opinions in your head thinking "I'm so right. I'm so right. I can't believe how stupid the rest of you are. I'm just so right." If you are not willing to discuss, and challenge your own views, and put your opinions at risk, then you might as well keep them to yourself or you're just some crazy guy on a soapbox at the student union.

And saying "you know what? I was wrong. I'm sorry" does not automatically make your gonads shrink. There's a lot of value in those particular words, for you and for the rest of us.

I've really enjoyed this place, and there are a lot of wonderful, loving, intelligent, interesting people here. It makes me sad and sick that a few people can make it so unpleasant for the rest of us that we consider leaving. It doesn't take a whole lot just to be nice and to think for half a second before you hit "submit."

Haven't decided whether I'll stay and ignore some folks, or leave and chalk this last few months up to a very nice hiatus from the usual shit one finds on the internet. I guess it's partly up to you.

__________________
"If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."

- Anatole France