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Old 09-08-2003, 11:17 PM   #1 (permalink)
MacGnG
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so i fucked up...

i don't want to hurt anyone, especially you. i dont know if i did, but i must have. i didnt want to. i wasn't trying to.


i am just trying to do this; something. i'm just trying to figure out who i am.
they say "BE YOURSELF." well who the fuck am i? i'm just doin' something, i dunno. I DONT KNOW!

why am i supposed to know? how am i supposed to know? am i supposed to know? what the fuck?

i dont care! i was just tryin to have a good time and party. so i got fucked up, there isn't anything wrong with that; you were fucked up too.

i dont understand anything, how could i? i dont understand me! how could i understand you. i just dont, but i want to! i want to understand you.

why am i writing this? why not? i dont see you writing anything! duh

i beat myself up enough so no one could hurt me more. there is no reason to try and you all know that.

I am just trying to be Me, trying to find You, so We can be US. everyone wants that, at least i KNOW i want that.
i want me to be one part of "US".

who am i talking to? maybe i'm talking to you... maybe you are talking to me.
either way i got my point across, i can start to fell better. i hope you do too.

i was rude, and i apologize. but shit happens. this happened, and it was awesome, you KNOW it was.
i only know how it was, and it was great.

it could have been better, it could ALWAYS be better. you could make it better.

I know how it was; i know that it was good, and i was happy. i could tell you were too.

but what did i get out of it? i realize how much i appreciate you and that i didnt. how much i should appreciate myself.
i realized how awesome it could be. how i could be, how you could be.

i dont know what i want, besides you. but i DO want you to want me. i want to be a part of something. I want to Be.
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