Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - I need a point of view from people uninvolved

Golux · 04-25-2003, 01:50 AM

You know I had the EXACT same thing happen to me only I was the one that graduated, we were even living together, we got a long and were by that point only dating by proximity, or at least that's what it felt like. I ended it and moved out when our lease was up. I felt like a total heel for doing it to. Breaking up and coming to terms with these kinds of feelings are never easy, but that doesn't mean that you're a bad person for having them.

It's not your fault that you haven't told her these things because up to this point you haven't had reason to think on them.

It isn't your fault that you deluded yourself into feeling things that wern't really there because you DID feel them. There is no such thing as a feeling that lies. If you feel it it's true. You may find out later that your motivations for your feelings were differents than you origionally thought, but you still felt those things, so you never felt something that wasn't true.

It's not your fault for becoming addicted to the convenience. It's human nature to define relationships between ourselves and other people, and after a while comfort is something that everyone wants. Everyone wants to be comfortable and that's not something you can blame yourself for.

You're a good guy. Sometimes things don't work out, and that doesn't make it your fault. Even if you always seem to be the one breaking things off, that just means that you come to a realization, a conclusion and that's the right thing to do, even if it sucks. It seems to me that I'm always the one breaking things off, that I'm the one thats being mean, but this month I met a girl. She left me. Now I get it. I respect her terribly for what she did. She knew that I wanted more than she did. She knew that I would get hurt if it went on. She broke my heart, and it was the right thing to do. I can see that.

I'll leave you with my favorite quote:

"Harm is not when you bring someone pain. Harm is when you don't care."
-From Parables for our Modern Age, by Jackie Robinson
(Nobilis: Sean R. Borgstrom)

Good luck.

04-25-2003, 01:50 AM	#2 (permalink)
Golux Tilted Location: This side of heaven.	You know I had the EXACT same thing happen to me only I was the one that graduated, we were even living together, we got a long and were by that point only dating by proximity, or at least that's what it felt like. I ended it and moved out when our lease was up. I felt like a total heel for doing it to. Breaking up and coming to terms with these kinds of feelings are never easy, but that doesn't mean that you're a bad person for having them. It's not your fault that you haven't told her these things because up to this point you haven't had reason to think on them. It isn't your fault that you deluded yourself into feeling things that wern't really there because you DID feel them. There is no such thing as a feeling that lies. If you feel it it's true. You may find out later that your motivations for your feelings were differents than you origionally thought, but you still felt those things, so you never felt something that wasn't true. It's not your fault for becoming addicted to the convenience. It's human nature to define relationships between ourselves and other people, and after a while comfort is something that everyone wants. Everyone wants to be comfortable and that's not something you can blame yourself for. You're a good guy. Sometimes things don't work out, and that doesn't make it your fault. Even if you always seem to be the one breaking things off, that just means that you come to a realization, a conclusion and that's the right thing to do, even if it sucks. It seems to me that I'm always the one breaking things off, that I'm the one thats being mean, but this month I met a girl. She left me. Now I get it. I respect her terribly for what she did. She knew that I wanted more than she did. She knew that I would get hurt if it went on. She broke my heart, and it was the right thing to do. I can see that. I'll leave you with my favorite quote: "Harm is not when you bring someone pain. Harm is when you don't care." -From Parables for our Modern Age, by Jackie Robinson (Nobilis: Sean R. Borgstrom) Good luck.