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Double D · 08-31-2003, 06:45 PM

Good conversation is a balancing act--a give & take, if two people are to *click* with one another.

I am from the get-the-other-person-to-talk-about him/herself school--because I'm unnaturally shy (long story, but I think I was supposed to be extroverted and that part of my personality got *stifled*).
When they tell me about themselves I can comment on any parallel experiences I might have had, ask them more questions to dig deeper into the topic, or just nod and say uh-huh.

But beyond the Q&A, which I see as a preliminary *getting-to know you* stage of a relationship, I think it's exciting to hear someone speak of what they are passionate about. As long as they don't drone on, ignoring the premise that conversation is a two-way discourse, I have found that honing in on what's really important to someone will keep the convo flowing and will allow a greater depth of exchange.

I find listening to what another person knows about a topic that I either know nothing or near nothing about, can be quite fascinating. If nothing else, I'll learn something new. Conversely, discussing shared interests can work very well, too.

I suppose maybe the key is to be with someone that you see as having something potentially of interest to say, and hopefully they feel the same way about you.

08-31-2003, 06:45 PM	#15 (permalink)
Double D Junkie Location: Chicagoland	Good conversation is a balancing act--a give & take, if two people are to click with one another. I am from the get-the-other-person-to-talk-about him/herself school--because I'm unnaturally shy (long story, but I think I was supposed to be extroverted and that part of my personality got stifled). When they tell me about themselves I can comment on any parallel experiences I might have had, ask them more questions to dig deeper into the topic, or just nod and say uh-huh. But beyond the Q&A, which I see as a preliminary getting-to know you stage of a relationship, I think it's exciting to hear someone speak of what they are passionate about. As long as they don't drone on, ignoring the premise that conversation is a two-way discourse, I have found that honing in on what's really important to someone will keep the convo flowing and will allow a greater depth of exchange. I find listening to what another person knows about a topic that I either know nothing or near nothing about, can be quite fascinating. If nothing else, I'll learn something new. Conversely, discussing shared interests can work very well, too. I suppose maybe the key is to be with someone that you see as having something potentially of interest to say, and hopefully they feel the same way about you. Last edited by Double D; 09-01-2003 at 05:45 PM..