Well, I'm going to offer a somewhat different point of view.
The first thing I've to say is, I've never heard of anyone breaking up with someone because of their ambitions when it comes to writing. But that is irrelevant, so let's move on...
The only thing you've really mentioned, that I noticed, as to why you don't want to commit yourself to her, is your wild libido. In light of this, I found the following rather curious:
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So the basic problem lies in this: I don't want to hurt her, but I don't want to destroy myself.
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Destroy yourself how? From what I can tell, the only thing that is at risk
at the moment is your ability to screw around without jeopardizing your clear conscience. If you are not capable of commitment, at least right now, then so be it -- tell her as much. Even so, considering what she has on her plate, she might need you right now. I see that need as greater than the risk of your self-destruction, but then I am but an outsider.