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I agree with Wile E - you're comparing apples and oranges, and the resentment is really only hurting you. I don't think you need to go to the funeral, but recognize the difference between the death of a spouse and the injury of a family member, even if it did happen in as traumatic a circumstance as Sept 11.
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"If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."
- Anatole France
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