Rodney

Guys can do the I-can-fix-her thing, too. I met this really nice woman who was perpetually on the edge of disaster -- financially, emotionally, physically, whatever. I decided that I could help stabilize her life, set an example, give her some breathing room; so we moved in together. Didn't work; she was what she was. For a couple of years I spent all my time helping her to maintain, because no matter how good the situation she'd manage to find a way to make it go wrong; and at the end she actually resented me for helping -- felt I was too controlling. So I broke it off. She definitely wasn't going to change.

I never thought I could change anyone again. Finally married a woman who wasn't perfect (neither am I) but who I knew I could live with "as is" the rest of our lives. And guess what? Since then she's changed a fair amount, all for the better, because she loves me and wants our marriage to be good for me. I like to think I'm doing the same thing for her.