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A lady got onto a train with her newborn baby. Across from her sat a man who was obviously drunk. He kept starring at her until their eyes met. Without provocation, the man said, in a slurred intoxicated voice, "Lady, that's the ugliest baby I have ever seen." She was shocked and horrified, but decided to ignore the lush. A few minutes later, their eyes met again and once more the drunk spoke; "Lady, I gotta tell ya, that is the ugliest kid I have ever seen!" The woman began to cry, catching the attention of the conductor. After a brief struggle, the drunk was moved to another car. The conducter returned to try and calm the nearly hysterical mother.
"Ma'am", he began "I am so sorry! I don't know what that man said to you, but I can assure you,we are willing to make it up to you. Please feel free to order anything you would like from the dining car, compliments of the house. I will bring you an extra pillow and a bottle of our very best champagne, and, I will personally go to the kitchen and see if I can find a banana for your monkey"
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