o14real

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A lady got onto a train with her newborn baby. Across from her sat a man who was obviously drunk. He kept starring at her until their eyes met. Without provocation, the man said, in a slurred intoxicated voice, "Lady, that's the ugliest baby I have ever seen." She was shocked and horrified, but decided to ignore the lush. A few minutes later, their eyes met again and once more the drunk spoke; "Lady, I gotta tell ya, that is the ugliest kid I have ever seen!" The woman began to cry, catching the attention of the conductor. After a brief struggle, the drunk was moved to another car. The conducter returned to try and calm the nearly hysterical mother.

"Ma'am", he began "I am so sorry! I don't know what that man said to you, but I can assure you,we are willing to make it up to you. Please feel free to order anything you would like from the dining car, compliments of the house. I will bring you an extra pillow and a bottle of our very best champagne, and, I will personally go to the kitchen and see if I can find a banana for your monkey"




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Happyland

monkeys aren't ugly

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someone else here must like Walton & Johnson too

fizzledorf

babies that look like monkies are

Tiger69z

You have to wonder who (or more likely what ) is the father

Cujo

Funny. I like it.

Bill O'Rights

Uh...Barbara Bush?

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"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." - Susan B. Anthony

"Hedonism with rules isn't hedonism at all, it's the Republican party." - JumpinJesus

It is indisputable that true beauty lies within...but a nice rack sure doesn't hurt.

bluearmy

Like it.

tommy thompson

great stuff...love it...must have been my boss as a child..

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...a wandering soul...

Keg-o-Grog

i want a bananaaaaaaaaaaaaa

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I stand alone without beliefs, the only truth i know is you.

drewg

Yeah, whats up with making fun about monkeys. Monkeys are cute

Well, the tiny ones atleast...

fallen_angel

little monkeys are so cute, so the baby must have looked like a babboons butt

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from the Havens I have fallen. . . to the earth as a mangled form. . . writhing in pain, my wings torn and bloodied. . . I have one purpose, only one goal. . . to find you and love you, for I am your. . . fallen angel

Dragon_Imp

That was pretty good lol i like monkeys though!!!!