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Wow. Tough, my sympathies.
It sounds like you did all that you can, this guy does not seem like he's wanting to change. So maybe the question to ask him is not for him to spend more time with you, but whether or not he wants to be in this relationship at all.
Asking for more of a physical aspect in the relationship, more attnetion does not mean spoilt, he is dead wrong about that. Does he have someone else on his mid? Is he possibly gay? These are long shots, but at this day and age, it happens. Was your sex life always...non-existant? If so maybe there's something he needs to get over, some insecurites perhaps.
Why not try printing out your post and leaving it for him so he knows what you're feeling? then give him a few hours to digest it before you talk to him. Or maybe write a new note directed to him, that way he can't interrupt and can't get defensive.
If you really want to stay with him, and it sounds like you do, letting him know how you feel, addressing the problems and actually dealing with the problems is extremely important. Go to a counsellor if further dealing with him yourself is impossible.
Best of luck.
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-poor is the man whose pleasure depends on the permission of another-
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