guns&roses

hey ladies...looking for some help on this one...i know it's long but please try...

alright, i've been in this relationship for a little under a year and i'm happy...kind of. he's really a nice guy - he cares for me a lot - he has a wonderful family, he's very gentle, funny, cute. like i said - a nice guy. we are both in college and so have a lot of stress in our lives and we both tend to take it out on each other sometimes, which can put a strain on the relationship. we have both helped each other through a very difficult year - deaths in the family, emotional issues, etc. but it has been very hard - i came into this relationship directly - after another relationship that was very serious and i was confused and didn't know what to do...so i panicked and broke up with him and started dating my current man, whom i was very good friends with.

so we have been dating since last year and it has been hard. we broke up a few times on and off because of me and my inability to deal with certain issues with him as well as trying to deal with my own life at the time. but we work so closely together that it was hard to stay out of the relationship. i guess i kept waiting for things to get better - and they would sometimes - but i find myself telling myself that it will be better when he gets a better job, when we are out of classes, when we have more money....you know what i'm saying. it's just hard too because we fight a lot about stuff - i feel like he doesn't like me as much as he says he does (even though i know it's dumb) because he is so interested in other things and spends a lot of time on those hobbies. i just feel like i have fallen in the ranks of interest in his life and i feel like he is taking me for granted. our sex life is practically non-existant and when it does surface once and awhile, it is usually because i initiate it...and that makes me feel like all i am interested in is sex...but for god's sake, i'm only in my 20s. i though guys were supposed to be in the middle of their sex drive now?

i guess i am just getting frustrated. we never talk anymore and tv or a book or a computer takes the place where everything between the two of us seemed to happen. holding hands, suddling, contact is out the window. i have brought this up with him several times as passively as possible and he immediatly gets very defensive and suddenly we're yelling at each other because he says that i expect too much and he's not enough for me and i'm spoiled. i end up apolgizing and waiting it out until the next "discussion". but what he says is somewhat true...i lost a wonderful man who did do all those things througout our entire relationship because i got scared of the commitment and lost him...i am still trying to deal with that....

anyways, i am silently starting to pull away because i don't know what else to do. talking has not worked and i am hesitant to make a decision to break up because he is a big part of my life and i like him being there for me but it feels like we have to be in a relationship for us to still be at least friends. i also don't know if i can handle being alone.

any advice offered would be great...i know there are people out there that have somewhat of an inkling of what is going on...

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"Every rose has it's thorn"