It sounds to me like there's a lot of miscommunication going on, as well as misconception as to what bondage, and further BDSM, is about. Being tied up does not automatically equal BDSM; there are a lot of psychological aspects at play as well. Your post is a little difficult to understand. "Why don't guys" what? Participate? Get turned on? Want to tie you down? If you're asking "Why don't guys want to be tied up?" the answer is, "But they do." Trust me on this. I used to live with a professional domme. Some people are dom(me)s, some are submissives, and some are reversible. Note that just because you have a fantasy that involves you being tied up, your partner may or may not be willing to participate. A lot of it would depend on his comfort level.
As much as it saddens me to say this, men are not mind-readers. Even people who are experienced in the ways of BDSM need to be told first what your boundaries are and what you expect from a session. No matter what you want, you always have to be clear in your words.
Hal, I'm coming to visit you
