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I don't feel qualified to give you advice of my own but I can do this: share a bit out of Ann Lander's playbook.
counseling. either jointly with a marriage counselor or just you if she refuses to go. Professional help may be able to save your marriage, it may not, but one thing it will do is help you deal with it all.
all I can share of my own is that I'm sorry to hear that happening to you and I hope you come through it alright. Hang in there.
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"Courage of the heart is very rare"
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