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evilmatt · 08-20-2003, 09:25 AM

Hey one, all.

I'm married, mid-twenties. My wife is going to leave me. She says she's no longer in love with me. She married me when she was 23 and now, after almost a year of marriage, says she wants to see what it's like to be independant and fool around with other guys. I know some people on the board are in open-marriages, and that's cool, but it's not my thing. I'm a one-woman kind of guy, always have been, always will be. My problem comes in where I just can't stop being madly in love with her. She wasn't my first love, but she's my best and all that I really want in this world. A little history, I'll make it brief...

I grew up in a traditional dysfunctional broken home. Parents divorced at 5, abusive step-mother that led to my not talking to my father in about 10 years or so, working mom, etc. I never had a nuclear family thing going on. Then I met her. She gave me hope for the future, that somehow a kid like me could still turn out alright and have a decent family life. Sure nothing is perfect, but she was smart, funny, kind, loving and, above all, wanting to be a wife and mother. It seemed everything was going to turn out alright, until a month ago.

She isn't cheating on me. She doesn't plan to, either. We had some issues with my lack of ambition, career-wise, but I've taken many steps towards that and she's admitted I'm doing very well there. But, she says, she still doesn't feel any "connection" between us anymore. She still wants to leave me, she still wants to mess around with other men and she still won't reconsider. I'm grasping at straws here. I want her in my life so badly and she won't stay. This ain't cool in any situation, break-ups never are, but this one is hurting me so badly that I don't feel I can recover from it. Without her in my life, everything seems bleak and desolate.

Now I know what some of you will say: I'm being codependant and clingy and need to let go. I know that it might be true to a certain degree but in this situation, I can't help but cling and try to convince her to stay. It feels like a losing battle, but it's all I can do. So does anyone think this is salvageable? Have people been through this and come out with any sort of faith in love? I'm feeling mine slip away by the minute...

(sadand)evilmatt.

08-20-2003, 09:25 AM	#1 (permalink)
evilmatt Upright Location: Suburbia	Salvageable? Hey one, all. I'm married, mid-twenties. My wife is going to leave me. She says she's no longer in love with me. She married me when she was 23 and now, after almost a year of marriage, says she wants to see what it's like to be independant and fool around with other guys. I know some people on the board are in open-marriages, and that's cool, but it's not my thing. I'm a one-woman kind of guy, always have been, always will be. My problem comes in where I just can't stop being madly in love with her. She wasn't my first love, but she's my best and all that I really want in this world. A little history, I'll make it brief... I grew up in a traditional dysfunctional broken home. Parents divorced at 5, abusive step-mother that led to my not talking to my father in about 10 years or so, working mom, etc. I never had a nuclear family thing going on. Then I met her. She gave me hope for the future, that somehow a kid like me could still turn out alright and have a decent family life. Sure nothing is perfect, but she was smart, funny, kind, loving and, above all, wanting to be a wife and mother. It seemed everything was going to turn out alright, until a month ago. She isn't cheating on me. She doesn't plan to, either. We had some issues with my lack of ambition, career-wise, but I've taken many steps towards that and she's admitted I'm doing very well there. But, she says, she still doesn't feel any "connection" between us anymore. She still wants to leave me, she still wants to mess around with other men and she still won't reconsider. I'm grasping at straws here. I want her in my life so badly and she won't stay. This ain't cool in any situation, break-ups never are, but this one is hurting me so badly that I don't feel I can recover from it. Without her in my life, everything seems bleak and desolate. Now I know what some of you will say: I'm being codependant and clingy and need to let go. I know that it might be true to a certain degree but in this situation, I can't help but cling and try to convince her to stay. It feels like a losing battle, but it's all I can do. So does anyone think this is salvageable? Have people been through this and come out with any sort of faith in love? I'm feeling mine slip away by the minute... (sadand)evilmatt.