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Originally posted by vveronica
I guess i need other input on this.
I know there is a big difference between bound sex and bdsm, but, why dont guys.
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OK... I'm a woman. I've never heard of the term "bound sex" although I *think* I understand what you are describing below.
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Why is it that if I'm into the helpless feeling then I have to be a submissive or a slave. I mean I am sorta small and in play i like to play resisting.
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In other words, you don't take orders and you don't submit. You want him to "win the struggle" and claim you.
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It is exciting for me at least, to slowly bound made helpless.
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this sentence is missing some words, please re-state.
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It is such a turn on if the guy/s slowly tease and overwhelm me, but i still struggle to hold my defiance...
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What you are describing *is* domination of a kind. It's just that there's no submission involved and, I assume, no pain.
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But so many guys thing immediately start thinking they can dominate
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This is where I get confused
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and want me to be a sub or slave, just willing do as told and or take abuse.
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This part I understand. No infliction of pain, no expectation that you are going to take orders.
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And i know it is a comunication thing and I DO, then comes the other question how do you make a guy listen!
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I'm sorry, V, but in all honesty, I don't fully understand what you are saying here. If I were going to do this with you (yes, we have a gender difference here but hypothetically), I would need more discussion. *However* I am experienced in having these conversations and I know when I'm not getting it. An inexperienced guy might have difficulty.
Let me come at it from another angle: As I read you, you are *not* looking for a "rape fantasy"? However, can you tell us what the difference is between a "rape fantasy" and what you *do* want?
Now, before I read your answer to all of this, my guess is that you want a man to be stronger than you and "pin you down" while you struggle against him and *maybe* say "no" (which means you need a safe word). You don't want to get hurt, except that he might squeeze your wrists a little too hard or put too much weight on you at the wrong time.
I'm not even sure that you want to be "tied down" with ropes, restraints etc. It sounds like you want to be bound with his physical strength.
Read entry #8 in my journal and let me know if it is along the lines you are describing.