Rodney

Good luck...my wife says all men are romantics, and that it's incurable. Guess she should know.

That said...love is definitely not stupid. But it definitely works better if both people know who they are and what they want. Because more than a few people who fell hopelessly in love at 19 or 20 and made a commitment find out, a few years down the line, that what they _really_ want in life is incompatible with the needs of their partner. Some relationship gurus recommend that nobody get married until 25 at the very earliest -- because it's not until you're in your late 20s that you've really sorted out who you are.

So, about 25 years ago I met this woman through a local public access TV show we worked on. We hit it off right away, but she was committed and so we stayed friends -- but good friends. I got her work, she got me work, we helped each other out of jams, liked to talk to each other, ate dinner together at least once a month, even commuted together. She even set me up with another woman for a while. I wasn't physically attracted to her at all, but she was maybe my best buddy on the planet.

Ten years go by like this. Platonic? We didn't even hug. Her parasitic boyfriend becomes more and more dysfunctional, and I've acquired a live-in girlfriend who, though a sweet person, has a hard time coping with the world and has locked on to my enabler tendencies like a leech. I'm spending all my time taking care of her, and it's not helping. So I finally realize that being in love with somebody does _not_ mean giving up your self for them, and cut loose. (She went back to live with her folks). My friend realizes that a shitful boyfriend is not better than no boyfriend, and finally breaks free.

So we're both at loose ends and I go up to visit her (I'd move 70 miles away), and I gave her a hug; she hugged back. Felt good; felt right. Went out and came back with a dozen roses. The rest is history, although it took a few more months to get around to the "L" word.

Soulmates? We are now, but we weren't when we first met; much as we liked each other, we both had things to learn about ourselves before we could be together. it took a long time, but maybe it took just as long as it had to.

Didn't mean to go on like this. I guess I'm saying that soulmates are made, not born. And eventually, when you know who you are, you'll be in a good position to spot your soulmate. And she may be somebody who's been standing beside you all along.