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I agree with Charlatan. Therapy might be helpful, given your dysfunctional background. I know a lot of people who have these 'savior' fantasies about people who take care of them and rescue them from bad situations; yours just happens, unfortunately, to be your brother. It's not bad at all to admire him and to feel affection for him, but when you're confusing sexual attraction with filial love, there's a problem. When you do have a relationship you should be with the person because you love THEM, not because they are a socially acceptable sexual substitute for your brother.
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"If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."
- Anatole France
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