Handguns, I don't know anything about, but it looks like you have a lot of good recomendations.
But for in the house, you just can't beat a 12 ga. with #6 target loads. First off, everyone knows what a shotgun slide sounds like, and it will scare the piss out of you because you know the owner means business.
If you decide to buy a home defense shotgun, The winchester defender, the remington marine, or the ithaca featherweight are all good choices.
As for ammo, the choice is personal, but the best solution i can think of is a #6 first (because your first shot will be very close and lead target loads are very devastating but non-lethal and second because it takes about 5/100ths of a second to rack the slide and chamber a different round). Next a load of # 4 buckshot so you can shoot him in the posterior as he runs away. Finally a 2 3/4 slug for the far off shot when he gets away with your gf's jewelry box. used in any combination, the results can be messy.
For the kid i would recommend you teaching him about guns from an early age. I got my first gun when I was three. I always had access to it, always knew where the ammo was, but i didn't ever misuse it. the reason I believe is because I was taught (with a belt if necessary) to respect weapons from the age of 3. None of our guns has ever been locked up, well not until a couple years ago when everyone was old enough to unlock the gun cabinet.
Personally I feel guns should not be locked up. That attaches a stigma to them, making them forbidden and something tempting to get a hold of. If they are within easy access and and children learn to respect them, there will be a lotless problems. This however does not mean you should let them use them without supervision. supervise him until you feel he is responsible enough to use it, then let him shoot it on his own. I gaurantee he will be much more careful than if you were to be standing there.
Now that I think about it, buy the kid his own little .22. It will give him incentive to lear to use it and respect it properly. (plus it keeps him from messing around with your gun.)
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