angela146

Any freedom includes it's own negative. Free speech includes the right of silence. Freedom of religion includes the right to be an athiest. Freedom to express sexuality and/or impress someone includes the right to dress asexually and/or not caring what other people think.

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and i dont like feeling objectified when wearing what men would want me to wear.. so.. i don't overdue the sexy look..

Yeah, it's even fun sometimes to look good in a way that men don't particularly appreciate. Wearing bright colors or artistic fashions usually doesn't do much for a lot of men, but you can look really good.

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i'm sure a lot of women dress sexier/look sexier than i do... especially at concerts where guys are constantly checking out all the 'hot girls' and i don't feel like one of them and get almost...jealous?

One thing that can be fun is to be more a classy kind of sexy as opposed to a "hot" sexy. For example, showing almost no skin but yet showing a lot of curves. A white turtleneck sweater, for example, can look a lot more mature, classy and sexier than a crop top with a V neck. It also attracts a better class of guys.

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that feeling of competition? i'm not even that competitive...

It might not be a feeling of competition. It might simply be a feeling of being lonely because you aren't getting the attention that the "hot chicks" are getting. Again, finding a way of being both comfortable and attractive can work wonders.

Another example is working with high quality materials. A conservative style of clothes made of 100% silk or linen or whatever can project an aura of confidence and even "good taste". Some guys like that.

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heh. but cheerios DOES have a good point as to why girls do this. and.. it does have good benefits. somedays, i -do- pay more attention to my looks and feel better about myself when i get the attention for it. and like i said... girls are in competition amongst themselves.

It can be that way but you don't have to play the game by the same rules. Put yourself in a different category. Maybe project power or emotional strength or artistic flair or whatever. It might be something that you can pull off that other women don't know how to do or aren't built to do.

Example: I have a friend who weights about 375lbs and stands maybe 5' 5". She has an extensive wardrobe of really classy clothes. One thing she wears is a large silk "art coat" that has a large design of a chinese dragon embroidered into it. The dragon is coiled like a snake and takes up most of the height and breadth of her frame.

A size 8 woman would not be able to wear it, even if the size were right. It takes a big woman to be able to be a "canvas" for some kinds of fashions. On her, it looks stunning. She gets a lot of admiring looks and attention from men and it's the kind of attention that comes with respect. I have also seen a number of women who are evnious of her ability to command room just by walking into it.

My point is that you can be attractive and sensual without having to be sexy and you don't have to be one of "the pack" to look good and be appreciated in a good way.