Hi everyone, I've been lurking here for a little while and have been amazed at the balance of helpful advice and humor everyone here seems to offer
I thought this would be the best place to ask my question:
I've had one partner before and after a brief chlamydia scare, (it turns out I was ok, although she had it and was treated. I took the medication anyway, just in case.) I've made up my mind to always have an STD test before having sex with anyone in the future.
My current partner has only been with one person too, and they had unprotected oral sex and she now realizes that the guy is a bit of a sleaze and she doesn't trust him, and doesn't know why she did before.
So we have been together now for almost five months and everything is going very well, I'm totally in love with her and she is with me. Without having a nicer way of saying it, I'll say that we have taken part in mutual masturbation (that sounds awfully detached) a lot, but that's as far as we've gone. I want an STD test for both of us before we go any further, and for various reasons she wants to wait until November for us to have intercourse, and I've agreed to that. To put it bluntly, I want us to move on to oral sex.
It's the STD part that is really worrying me now. I'm sure I'm clean, I'm sure she's clean, but I suggested that we both get tested as a precaution and she agreed. That was about three months ago and we are yet to get tested. I know she has a busy schedule and it doesn't allow much time to do things like this. This is her second sexual relationship (the last was very short-lived) so she admits she's a bit nervous about things, it's a bit intimidating for her as she's never been tested for STDs and it does seem like a very major thing.
It seems like whenever I bring it up she either giggles and laughs it off and jokes that I'm too horny (even though she has a higher libido than me she seems content with what we do now, even though I want oral) which gives me the impression that she may not quite be as mature as I sometimes think she is. Or she says that she doesn't want us to move too quickly on to a major sexual relationship. She said once that she thought that if we got tested then it would just mean there would be no excuses for us to have sex all the time, and then we might get bored of each other. This doesn't quite match up to how she often is because, like I said above, she has a very high libido and often half-jokes about not waiting until November.
I guess my concerns now are:
- Am I being an ass for pressuring her to get tested? After reading everything I've wrote I think I come across as a horny, pushy guy. I love her, and I guess can wait for oral sex, but she did say that we would get tested together, but so far she hasn't lived up to that. I'm worried she might be prick-teasing me a bit too much and it's driving me insane. I don't see how us getting tested is such a big deal.
- Is she acting a bit immaturely about this? Most often when I try and sit down and talk to her seriously about this sort of thing she laughs it off and clearly doesn't want to talk about it, jokingly says I'm too horny, etc.
- Should we bother getting tested? I think I should but I'd like to hear others' opinions on this, even though imagine most people will say we should.
Thanks too all who offer advice, I hope to become a regular member of the boards