I dunno, I think I'd go with the original poster and say that the girlfriend is over-reacting a bit.
Sure it's possible to have a deep bond between two people that isn't romantic, and it's perfectly natural to still have a connection to someone with whom you spent a good portion of your life. It seems a shame to throw away a working friendship and all that history, so full credit for maintaining a bond with the ex. Perhaps saying 'I love you' is a bit rash, and should be unnecessary, really.
The girlfriend obviously has a different perspective: the ex is a threat and competitor. However, if there's any trust and if she put herself in the same position she should see that this is a natural thing to do and really not dangerous - that is, if the man and the ex are both 100% that this is just a deep friendship.
People seem to forget that love is just a perfection of a type of attachment, and that people don't just have loyalty to their partner: family, friends, ex-partners, workmates and so on all have their own bonds with you and demand their own loyalty. If your partner can't deal with that, then I think it's their problem.
Just my two pennies, though.
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