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raeanna74 · 08-06-2003, 04:27 PM

What defines a "good marriage"? To be honest I'm still figuring this out. I think it's such a subjective thing. In general both individuals need to be allowed room to grow and have love (even if it isn't ALL the time) and respect for each other.

Is there a "one right person" for each of us? I dont' think so. I do think you need to be so careful to marry ONLY because you know this person will be right for you and you for them too. Don't do it for any other reason.

How do you decide when to get married? When you feel ready and when you are mature enough. Personally I don't think you are ready for marriage if you can't hold down a job. If you aren't responsible enough at work and to stay with something you dont' enjoy every day then you won't stay with a marriage.

What are you (or what should you be) willing to do to keep it? You should be willing to seek outside help and support. You should be willing to call in help to intervene if one or the other spouse isn't listening to your concerns.

Under what circumstances would you consider breaking up?
I would consider breaking up if there was physical abuse or severe psychological abuse. (Psychological abuse Isn't something to be laughed at but if you know it's there and have support you can turn the tide on some of it.) I would also consider breaking up if my partner was continuing to cheat on me against my wishes and protests.

If you had it to do over again, would you? Yes.

If you would, would you do anything different? I would have started out making sure that I loved my husband and wasn't just trying to escape my messed up parents home. I would make sure I wasn't just trying to marry to "fix" having had premarital sex with my husband to be and pacify my religion.

What advice do you have for all of the never-married folks on TFP?
Insert your thoughts and quesitons here...

Respect respect respect your partner. Learning to trust one another can get you through some of the most difficult situations. I will be nearly impossible to love each other if you don't respect and trust each other.

Hubby and I have been married for 4 years. I think we're relatively happy. We've had our bumps but we've also had some serious illness and rehabilitation that one of us had to go through. A tramatic event like that will try any relationship. I'm content with things now. Things are improving I think. We are just now it seems getting more in step with each other and communicating better.

08-06-2003, 04:27 PM	#10 (permalink)
raeanna74 I'm not a blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot! Location: Upper Michigan	What defines a "good marriage"? To be honest I'm still figuring this out. I think it's such a subjective thing. In general both individuals need to be allowed room to grow and have love (even if it isn't ALL the time) and respect for each other. Is there a "one right person" for each of us? I dont' think so. I do think you need to be so careful to marry ONLY because you know this person will be right for you and you for them too. Don't do it for any other reason. How do you decide when to get married? When you feel ready and when you are mature enough. Personally I don't think you are ready for marriage if you can't hold down a job. If you aren't responsible enough at work and to stay with something you dont' enjoy every day then you won't stay with a marriage. What are you (or what should you be) willing to do to keep it? You should be willing to seek outside help and support. You should be willing to call in help to intervene if one or the other spouse isn't listening to your concerns. Under what circumstances would you consider breaking up? I would consider breaking up if there was physical abuse or severe psychological abuse. (Psychological abuse Isn't something to be laughed at but if you know it's there and have support you can turn the tide on some of it.) I would also consider breaking up if my partner was continuing to cheat on me against my wishes and protests. If you had it to do over again, would you? Yes. If you would, would you do anything different? I would have started out making sure that I loved my husband and wasn't just trying to escape my messed up parents home. I would make sure I wasn't just trying to marry to "fix" having had premarital sex with my husband to be and pacify my religion. What advice do you have for all of the never-married folks on TFP? Insert your thoughts and quesitons here... Respect respect respect your partner. Learning to trust one another can get you through some of the most difficult situations. I will be nearly impossible to love each other if you don't respect and trust each other. Hubby and I have been married for 4 years. I think we're relatively happy. We've had our bumps but we've also had some serious illness and rehabilitation that one of us had to go through. A tramatic event like that will try any relationship. I'm content with things now. Things are improving I think. We are just now it seems getting more in step with each other and communicating better. __________________ "Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama My Karma just ran over your Dogma. Last edited by raeanna74; 08-06-2003 at 04:31 PM..