Quote:
Originally posted by ninety09
I've always wondered, what's the point of marriage? What does it change in your relashionship? Do you really need marriage to prove that you love each other and are committed?
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I don't think marriage is necessary or even advisable for everyone. You certainly don't need it to prove that you love each other and are committed. But for me, at least, what marriage added to our relationship was a promise made before others. It's one thing to know it yourselves, it's just an added "bonus" to have your relationship defined and "sealed" in front of the people you love and who love and support you. I don't think it's necessary but for us it's that little extra something that makes us think "I gave my word." It's not just that I love this person and I want to be with them - because frankly, there will be times when you forget that you love him/her and you DON'T want to be with them. Without that promise you're free to walk. The promise makes you take that extra time you need to remember who you are for each other and what you're committed to.
I hope Ratbastid doesn't mind me sharing this...
...nope he doesn't (I just asked him).
About 8 months ago we were on the brink. We were moving in completely different directions, not communicating, completely self-absorbed and neither of us was willing to budge much. We were about thiiiiiiis close to a divorce. I've never been more scared in my life. There were a lot of things that kept us together besides our love, which was notably absent at the time - sharing a house, a dog, habit, blah blah blah. The thing that really kept us together in the end was that we both wanted to be there. It had nothing to do with being married, it had to do with loving each other and dropping all the bullshit and remembering why. But if we
hadn't been married, if we hadn't had that promise in the back of our heads, the "for better for worse" part, the "till death do us part" part, it would have been so much easier to just cut and run. To say "this is what
I want, screw you, I'm outta here" instead of "what's best for
us and what do we each need to do to stay together?"