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angela146 · 08-05-2003, 07:39 PM

As much as it really bugs me to say this, they may be right. There really are a lot of women who can't bring themselves to say "yes" or to say, "so get a clue and fuck me, damn you".

Part of me would like to suggest that you talk it out with her and ask her to share her feelings, but part of me knows that she might really want to be passive and give herself some deniability. The idea is that if she doesn't suggest it, she isn't as guilty (in her own mind). After all, it wasn't her idea.

On the other hand, she might be playing you, waiting for you to go just so far. Once you do, she might claim that you completely mis-understood her. If that's the case, I'll revoke her PMS license.

You have at least five options:

1. Talk to her and try to find out if she will tell you what's up. That might not get you anywhere.
2. Be gentle: Make a few small moves. Touch her hand, hold her hand, give her a shoulder massage, kiss her, give her a foot massage. Take very small steps, one at at time and don't move too quickly. At each step, see if she says no or pulls away. If she is passive and does nothing, ask her if she likes it. Odds are, she will say something like "It's OK" and frustrate the hell out of you.

If she says *anything* that resembles "no" (e.g. stop, don't, wait, hold it, um...) then back off immediately. Otherwise keep going and know that you are playing a game.

3. Be aggressive: same as number 2 but make bolder moves. You will either get shot down faster or you will be "successful" faster. Again, If she says *anything* that resembles "no" (e.g. stop, don't, wait, hold it, um... what's going on?) then back off immediately.

Note: The following two options are in case you don't want to "play the game" and are willing to risk loosing out on getting closer to her.

4. be up front with her: tell her what I said above and ask her if that's what's going on. There is a very slim chance that she will say, "yeah, that's about right". She is 99% likely to say "no" in some way and maybe you can read something from how she says "no".

5. ignore her. Wait for her to make the next move. Problem is that she might not and she might get tired of waiting for you to do something.

08-05-2003, 07:39 PM	#4 (permalink)
angela146 Loser Location: Somewhere near Hubby	As much as it really bugs me to say this, they may be right. There really are a lot of women who can't bring themselves to say "yes" or to say, "so get a clue and fuck me, damn you". Part of me would like to suggest that you talk it out with her and ask her to share her feelings, but part of me knows that she might really want to be passive and give herself some deniability. The idea is that if she doesn't suggest it, she isn't as guilty (in her own mind). After all, it wasn't her idea. On the other hand, she might be playing you, waiting for you to go just so far. Once you do, she might claim that you completely mis-understood her. If that's the case, I'll revoke her PMS license. You have at least five options: 1. Talk to her and try to find out if she will tell you what's up. That might not get you anywhere. 2. Be gentle: Make a few small moves. Touch her hand, hold her hand, give her a shoulder massage, kiss her, give her a foot massage. Take very small steps, one at at time and don't move too quickly. At each step, see if she says no or pulls away. If she is passive and does nothing, ask her if she likes it. Odds are, she will say something like "It's OK" and frustrate the hell out of you. If she says anything that resembles "no" (e.g. stop, don't, wait, hold it, um...) then back off immediately. Otherwise keep going and know that you are playing a game. 3. Be aggressive: same as number 2 but make bolder moves. You will either get shot down faster or you will be "successful" faster. Again, If she says anything that resembles "no" (e.g. stop, don't, wait, hold it, um... what's going on?) then back off immediately. Note: The following two options are in case you don't want to "play the game" and are willing to risk loosing out on getting closer to her. 4. be up front with her: tell her what I said above and ask her if that's what's going on. There is a very slim chance that she will say, "yeah, that's about right". She is 99% likely to say "no" in some way and maybe you can read something from how she says "no". 5. ignore her. Wait for her to make the next move. Problem is that she might not and she might get tired of waiting for you to do something.