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Old 08-03-2003, 12:15 AM   #1 (permalink)
Double D
Junkie
 
Location: Chicagoland
Should I Kick My 20-y.o. Son Out?

Current situation is this:
Just got home from a two-week vacation. Left my 20 y.o. son home alone as opposed to making him find alternate housing for the duration. Why think of making him leave? Because every time I leave him home alone, he throws parties, tears the house up, damages furniture, stains the carpets, leaves things filthy--just shows a complete disregard for our home.

Quick history on my son. Legally declared a juvenile delinquent at age 16 after many minor run-ins with the law, drugs, shoplifting, curfew violation.
Also at age 16, as an unlicensed, uninsured driver, he took our car and hit another boy in a car... and fled the scene. Was incarcerated in a drug-rehabiliatation center/jail for three months. Missed too much school while in the the treatment center (also was chronically truant from high school prior to getting sent to center). So when released from the treatment center, dropped out of high school at age 17.
Does not go to college.
Works as little as possible.
Does nothing to help out around the house.
Pays little to no room/board, though before leaving
for our trip. we told him it, as well as a full time job, was necessary beginning this month.

So here I am, just drove 725 miles straight thru to get home tonight, looking forward to crawling into my nice bed and the first thing I'm confronted with is the bed completely stripped of its bedding. He had used my bed--- the condoms in the waste basket tell me he had sex in it--and this isn't the first time. Ick.
My bedroom lamp was knocked over, leaving the lampshade broken.

The cedar chest, where I keep my linens, has been scraped on several edges down to the bare wood.
There's lots of filth throughout the house, but here is the real kicker:
He's taken my freakin' car again!

I accidently left my car keys here and he's taken the car to wherever, without any insurance or permission. I don't know where he is, don't know when he's coming back.

He was told in no uncertain terms that if he messed up in any way he would be asked to leave, and this is what I intend to do when I see him. If the car isn't home by the morning, I'll file a report and maybe get some help in tracking him/it down.

(His bio-father has been out of the picture since my son was a baby, I was a divorced mom for about 7 years then met his stepdad when my son was 8 years old. Not much of a relationship there--which was both of their choices.)

I really can't deal with this kid any more. He has this sense of entitlement paired with a real lack of conscience for his actions.

Any suggestions or comments would be very much appreciated. Thanks!

Last edited by Double D; 08-03-2003 at 01:08 AM..
Double D is offline  
 

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