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analog · 08-02-2003, 04:08 PM

I agree with much of what's being said about the "stereotypical" viewpoint of men and how they go for the thin, the model, the "beautiful", etc., but women are very much in the same stereotype boat as men. If this were not true, then actors, male models, etc., would think and look like albert einstein instead of thinking and looking like Fabio.

Certainly there is a broad difference in the sheer number (percentage) of men who think in this way than women do, but men have many more driving forces to think in such a way. Pressure from their peers, from their surroundings, and mass-exposure to such images and stereotypical ways of thinking help to fuel the testosterone. Testosterone is what gives men that innate desire to compete and conquer- the fastest car, the strongest body, the most money, the hottest girl- the one definitive constant in a world of variables. Guys, by and large, want the best of every aspect of life. Unfortunately, many see "the best" as defined by what OTHERS see as "the best"- those who indulge in the stereotypical male ways of thinking, beauty over brains... after all, what good is YOUR "best" if no one else agrees with you? You are, ideally, weighing "the best" against everything else available.

This way of thinking is unfortunate, and causes many of the female image problems.

For their share, female image problems ALSO stem from a woman's innate (instinctive) desire to be secure, stable, desirable, and to find someone who can provide for those desires. It is in these desires we find the female drive to look the best as compared to others- and what worse template to go by than the male ideal? For sure, it would be advantagious to use the desires of those you wish to attract to best achieve your goals, but to completely live by it like it's the only way is ludicrous.

I think that the truly intelligent, enlightened people (most of us men and women who aren't looking for the stereotypical partner) are looking for a happy balance of brain and beauty. Certainly we can have lots of both, i'm not suggesting you have to subtract from A to give to B, but there are for every person certain levels of intellectual and physical stimulation which are ideal.

It boils down to something i've believed in for a long time. If you want the world, you will never get it, and never be happy, but if you want to be happy, you CAN be happy, and then the world is yours.

As i was writing I realized that many people stand behind the "the person has to be attractive to you, despite their brains, for it to truly last" and others are of the "over time looks won't matter, because we all get gross and old anyway" opinion. Beauty in the mind is not always defined by outward appearance and, over time, it's what's on the inside that keeps 2 people truly happy, NO MATTER how they both looked to begin with- and to many people, inward beauty is what causes the appearance of outward beauty, and the person's actual physiology has little to do with it.

Sorry this was so long, but i'm sick and have nothing better to do right now. I hope it wasn't preachy or anything, and i didn't mean to imply that i think any of this applies to everyone or that it only applies to opposite-sex relationships. They're just my opinions. Thanks for reading.

08-02-2003, 04:08 PM	#18 (permalink)
analog Banned	I agree with much of what's being said about the "stereotypical" viewpoint of men and how they go for the thin, the model, the "beautiful", etc., but women are very much in the same stereotype boat as men. If this were not true, then actors, male models, etc., would think and look like albert einstein instead of thinking and looking like Fabio. Certainly there is a broad difference in the sheer number (percentage) of men who think in this way than women do, but men have many more driving forces to think in such a way. Pressure from their peers, from their surroundings, and mass-exposure to such images and stereotypical ways of thinking help to fuel the testosterone. Testosterone is what gives men that innate desire to compete and conquer- the fastest car, the strongest body, the most money, the hottest girl- the one definitive constant in a world of variables. Guys, by and large, want the best of every aspect of life. Unfortunately, many see "the best" as defined by what OTHERS see as "the best"- those who indulge in the stereotypical male ways of thinking, beauty over brains... after all, what good is YOUR "best" if no one else agrees with you? You are, ideally, weighing "the best" against everything else available. This way of thinking is unfortunate, and causes many of the female image problems. For their share, female image problems ALSO stem from a woman's innate (instinctive) desire to be secure, stable, desirable, and to find someone who can provide for those desires. It is in these desires we find the female drive to look the best as compared to others- and what worse template to go by than the male ideal? For sure, it would be advantagious to use the desires of those you wish to attract to best achieve your goals, but to completely live by it like it's the only way is ludicrous. I think that the truly intelligent, enlightened people (most of us men and women who aren't looking for the stereotypical partner) are looking for a happy balance of brain and beauty. Certainly we can have lots of both, i'm not suggesting you have to subtract from A to give to B, but there are for every person certain levels of intellectual and physical stimulation which are ideal. It boils down to something i've believed in for a long time. If you want the world, you will never get it, and never be happy, but if you want to be happy, you CAN be happy, and then the world is yours. As i was writing I realized that many people stand behind the "the person has to be attractive to you, despite their brains, for it to truly last" and others are of the "over time looks won't matter, because we all get gross and old anyway" opinion. Beauty in the mind is not always defined by outward appearance and, over time, it's what's on the inside that keeps 2 people truly happy, NO MATTER how they both looked to begin with- and to many people, inward beauty is what causes the appearance of outward beauty, and the person's actual physiology has little to do with it. Sorry this was so long, but i'm sick and have nothing better to do right now. I hope it wasn't preachy or anything, and i didn't mean to imply that i think any of this applies to everyone or that it only applies to opposite-sex relationships. They're just my opinions. Thanks for reading.