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Card Play
HALLMARK CARDS (we'll never see)
1. So your daughter's a hooker,
and it spoiled your day.
Look on the bright side,
she's a really good lay.
2. My tire was thumping
I thought it was flat.
When I look at the tire,
I noticed your cat. Sorry.
3. You had your bladder removed
and you're on the mends.
Here's a bouquet of flowers
and a box of Depends.
4. You've announced that you're gay.
Won't that be a laugh
when they find out you're one
of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.
5. Heard your wife left you,
how upset you must be.
But don't fret about it ...
she moved in with me.
6. Your computer is dead,
it was once so alive.
Don't you regret
installing Windows 95?
7. You totalled your car
and can't remember why.
Could it have been
that case of Bud Dry?
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"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
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"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
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never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.
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