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Instructional Play
I love these displays of faith in the average human intelligence!!
Instructions
On a Sears hair dryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be... how??)
On some Swanson frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's *just* a suggestion!)
On a hotel-provided shower cap in a box:
Fits one head. (!!!)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert:
(printed on the bottom of the box)--Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! You lose!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure???)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time???)
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts!)
On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness
(One would hope!)
On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(Or pets! What's for dinner?)
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to outer space or underground)
On a Japanese food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Hmmmm, now I'm curious)
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(no comment)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. (what is going on here?)
On a child's superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Way to destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)
The pacifier says "never leave child unattended or sleeping while using pacifier."
Then, what's it for?
On a can of paint (Dutch Boy, I *think*)
Do not drink. (?!?)
__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
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"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
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never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.
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