uncle phil

I love these displays of faith in the average human intelligence!!

Instructions

On a Sears hair dryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be... how??)

On some Swanson frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's *just* a suggestion!)

On a hotel-provided shower cap in a box:
Fits one head. (!!!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert:
(printed on the bottom of the box)--Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! You lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure???)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time???)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts!)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(Or pets! What's for dinner?)

On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to outer space or underground)

On a Japanese food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Hmmmm, now I'm curious)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(no comment)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. (what is going on here?)

On a child's superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Way to destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)

The pacifier says "never leave child unattended or sleeping while using pacifier."
Then, what's it for?

On a can of paint (Dutch Boy, I *think*)
Do not drink. (?!?)

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

Peetster

All created in response to a litigous society.

*sigh*

the naked lion

damn..there goes my superman dream...

zaiaz

<<<--------having a heart attack....what do you mean i can't fly???

__________________
Self destruction - "Its my Nature", said the Scorpion...

tfpfreak

Seen this before but still worth posting. Thanks

__________________
Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be.

~ Clementine Paddleford

Regziever

Good post! I really liked this one:

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(no comment)

__________________
Life is shit,
Death is even worse,
So what's the point of killing yourself?
/Ignatius Camryn Paladine

egorey

I always like these (didn't need the editorials comments to make them funny) and have seen this list a hundred times... still funny (minus the comments... hehehe)