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Originally posted by Donkeypuncher
You don't see how your viewpoint is just as selfish? The problem with "setting her straight" is that your viewpoint is apparently the only one that could possibly be right.
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Well, duh. I wouldn't come right out and say it, though.
Seriously, no, I don't see how my position is just as selfish. Denying him the right to masterbate is ridiculous. I won't bend on that one. I would say that there's GOT to be a way to stimulate her also, but I don't know the exact situation. If that
can't be done for some bunch of reasons, there's no reason for both of them to suffer. That would be selfish of her to insist on, and biologically not likely. He'll have wet dreams if nothing else.
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She shouldn't be made to do a damned thing.
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I didn't suggest that she do anything, now did I? Well, other than accept the fact that he's gonna jerk off whether she likes it or not, so she might as well get used to the idea or drive him away right now.
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We all have things that we consider ok and not ok and you wouldn't appreciate anyone telling you you're fucked in the head for the things you're not ok with, would ya?
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It happens. I don't have that thin a skin. Depending on what the issue is, I might agree. Or not, and discount that person's position on that issue.
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They certainly need to talk about it and, hopefully, come to some agreements that make them both comfortable. If no agreement can be reached, parting is probably the best thing.
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Sounds to me like we're in violent agreement here.
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But she's not exactly wrong in her stance. She doesn't like it and she's told him so. "Deny him normal behavior" doesn't even apply just because you think it's "normal."
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Long-term statistics
do, though. It's normal. If she has a problem with it, it's her problem, not his.
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She doesn't and that's what matters to her. Working with her, asking her to consider different viewpoints, letting time and experience soften her a bit... might all help. But demanding she admit in an instant that her entire belief system around this topic is completely wrong is asking way too much. Of anyone.
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True. What really bothers me is that she's already pregnant. They should have gone over this kind of thing very thoroughly earlier.
Not that I'm perfect about that. I'd rather
do it than talk about it, but I can talk about it longer than I can do it...
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Now, personally, I don't agree with her viewpoint at all and I think she's horribly repressed, but that's just the viewpoint from where I am standing and other people shouldn't be required to live their lives by that.
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Again, we're in violent agreement. The core problem, IMHO, is that she's pregnant.