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I don't see the problem with setting her straight: he's got to explain reality to her. If she has a problem with it, and can't be convinced to be realistic, he should break off the engagement.
Sex is non-trivial as far as I understand it. If she's so selfish as to deny him normal behavoir just because she's unable to play, he should understand that this is not the only way that selfishness will evince itself.
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