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Whew. Is this a mess.
And you're marrying her...why? And having children together...why? Did you not discuss the whole sex thing before hand? For one thing, she has some startling misconceptions about sex, but more importantly just from this one post it's clear that you're not sexually compatible. Everyone seems to want to blame her for being ignorant, but it took two people to get to this point without dealing with these issues and one of them was clearly you. Do you communicate this badly in the rest of your relationship?
If, for whatever reason, you are in fact committed to this relationship, you need to get to work right now.
1. Bed rest or no bed rest, you need to get couples counseling to work out some kind of sexual agreement. If you're committed to staying you're going to have to reach some kind of compromise. Find someone who'll do it on the phone or make house calls. You don't want to wait till you also have a baby in the mix to deal with this.
2. If it's the porn she objects to and not the wanking itself, you need to experiment till you find something else that works.
3. If it's the wanking she objects to...you're marrying her why?
I think you need to look long and hard at whether you can spend the rest of your life with this woman. I wouldn't count on being able to change her mind, and if that's the case, you're going to have to either live with her hangups, or lie to her to get around them, or be dissatisfied for the rest of your married life. I can't see this ending well.
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"If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."
- Anatole France
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