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Back when I was an Airline Pilot I flew through a bad Hurricane. I did my best to skirt the edge of the storm, but it was a pretty rough ride just the same - rough enough that I ordered the flight attendants to strap themselves into their seats for about half an hour, and many of the passengers were putting the little plastic-lined barf bags in their seat pockets to good use.
When the turbulence finally stopped, the flight attendants unbuckled themselves and I used the intercom.
"Well, folks, that was quite some ride, wasn't it? But we came through it, just the way we always do, and I'm happy to report that it looks like the remainder of our trip should be much calmer. On behalf of myself and today's crew, I'd like to thank you very much for your calmness and cooperation, and extend our best wishes for a pleasant stay in Boston."
The intercom clicked a few times and unbeknownst to me, remained on when I spoke to my co-pilot
"Jesus Christ - what a bitchin' ride!!! Boy - I sure could use a cup of good strong coffee and a blow job right about now."
As a stricken stewardess dashed up the aisle to the cabin to let me know that my intercom was still on, a little old lady in first class called after her...
"Don't forget his coffee."
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