i am just resonating what other people have basically said, in that there are only really victims of this accident and so no one should be punished even more on top of this. Both your family and the driver would be vastly effected by this incident, so it'd be unnescessary to inflict any more damage on anyone.
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Sparhwak said
This person, if he has any humanity, will be living with guilt for the rest of his life. I don't think forcing him to give up money, even if it's for a memorial, will pull that guilt in a constructive direction, and will probably just turn it into anger. I hope you talk your family out of this.
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very true
my condolences.