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There is one piece missing here, you are an adult. You are responsible for yourself and only yourself (unless you have your own children.) Your mom is an adult and she is responsible for herself. It is not your job to take care of your mother. Although in times of need it is great if you can be there for her, you are not obligated and should not be guilted into anything! I agree with Tricks, you are obviously an intelligent human being. You are doing what you can to better your life. Take care of yourself first, then you will have more to offer down the road. Part of taking care of yourself, however, is to seek some "major counsoling." There is nothing wrong with seeking guidance and a way to "deal with" the past. You didn't have the best of lives growing up. It is up to you now to empower yourself by dealing with the past, learning how it effects you today, and preparing for your future. Best of luck and let us know what happens!
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If you can go deeply into lovemaking, the ego disappears. That is the beauty of lovemaking, that it is another source of a glimpse of god
It's not about being perfect; it's about developing some skill at managing imperfection.
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