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Many people have very valid reasons why they don't want to have kids, health issues being a key issue among them. Not wanting to take a chance in passing on a serious health condition to your offspring is a valid, wise choice.
I am 38, my GF is 29. We are both healthy and make well into six figures with our combined incomes. I have always known that I never wanted children. She is a preschool teacher and while she and I both love children, we take great exception to the notion that we absolutely MUST have children of our own.
The majority of the matter lies in the fact that most people that have kids do it simply because it is ritualistic human nature. Their parents did it, their parents' parents did it and so on. What is becoming more common is people who are saying "just because I CAN do it, should I?". People automatically see it as an intrinsic basic human desire, but is it really what people truly want?
There are many people out there who bear children, then realize too late that they really didn't want them. If they would have only put thought, prayer and planning into it, instead of acting on a base natural human reproductive instinct, then they may have been able to make the right decision (for them anyway) and spared their child a life of alienation from the affection of a parent who found too late that they never wanted children. It's sad and it happens far too often.
So many people thoughtlessly have kids for the wrong reasons:
1. They want to keep their marriage together. If the marriage is screwed up to begin with, then adding a baby to the mix won't help. It will only hurt the child when the parents inevitably realize that some things just can't be fixed.
2. They want to give their parents grandchildren. This is not entirely a bad reason if this is an added bonus of reproducing, but having kids solely for this reason is not good. I consider any parent who pressures their children to reproduce just so they can have little grandchildren to cuddle to be a little on the selfish side.
3. My kid might cure cancer someday. Your kid may also become the next Bundy/Manson/Dahmer/Gacy. Think long and hard about it before you permanently put your foot in your mouth by making this statement.
4. Babies are so cute and cuddly. Ah yes, babies are cute and cuddly, but they grow and become destructive, messy toddlers, then become defiant, unruly children and last but not least become sullen, angry teenagers. Granted that this doesn't happen in all cases, but people have their heads in the clouds if they think it never does. One trip to the shopping mall on any given Saturday will snap most people back to reality.
5. God said we should "be fruitful and multiply" - That was when there was only a few dozen people on the planet. There are now in excess of six billion. You can stop now.
I could go on all day with this.
Suffice it to say that I firmly believe that not all people are meant to be parents.
Much thought, prayer and planning should go into the conception and raising of children, even by people who are competent, healthy and financially able to successfully do so. There are many people with multiple children who have no business being around children, much less having their own. A certain reclusive celebrity springs to mind as a prime example.
If you are questioning yourself about having children, and you find within yourself that you just don't want to do it, know that you are not alone, and there's nothing wrong with you.
Your mother shouldn't feel like a failure. She's raised someone who is seriously considering matters that are very important, and not just acting on base instinct, like so many others do.
I certainly won't blow smoke up your ass and tell you that "you'll find someone someday!" Maybe you won't, but if you do, please plan, pray and think long and hard before having (or not having) children. You'll be glad you did.
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Louisiana: We're Not ALL Drunken Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign
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