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Read the entire thing. Twice.
You have a lot going for you. You might have come from a crappy situation with fairly disfunctional parent models, but you are intelligent, articulate and situationally aware. Hell, you have a server that you know how to interact with. That's not insignificant.
For you: Plot a course and start your life. Figure out what and where and who you want to be.
As for your Mom: You are right, she will always be your Mom. You already know she has issues. Love her anyway.
Regarding your stepdad: Your Mom picked him. Be polite. You do NOT have to like him, but you must not be rude to him. Suck it up and just be civil.
As far as the whole entitlement thing, let it go. It doesn't matter. Plot a course for your life, and it will all become moot.
Hope this helps.
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