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I think human motivations are far to complicated to peg to one emotion, even one as strong as "hate".
Doc, I think you hit the nail on the head - this girl's actions have more to do with her own insecurities than with her hating you. It sounds as though she may be concerned that your mutual friends will take your side because she dumped you, so she's badmouthing you so they'll take her side.
I think hate is what happens when a person refuses to be responsible for their own emotions or their own life. I don't know too many people, personally, who hate other people, but I think about how my mom hated my dad after their divorce because it was too painful to look at her own role in the failure of their marriage; I think about people who hate Americans because of our policies and attack us instead of working to better their own societies; I think about racists who scapegoat those who are different because of their own hardships or fear of difference. There are lots of people who have good reason to hate other people - think about the families of murder victims, rape victims, etc. - who manage to forgive and not hate. They are being responsible for their own feelings and choosing love and compassion instead of hate. Just MHO but hate is one of the least productive emotions there is. It's certainly understandable in some cases, but in the end it tends to do more harm to the person feeling it that the person it's directed at.
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"If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."
- Anatole France
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