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diulasing123 · 07-03-2003, 08:49 PM

It feels better to share it with someone....even if no one reads it....im still sharing it...atleast once over to myself .... i dont think love is a fortunate thing to experience at all....people all around me...... friends, family, relatives...whatever...they keep bragging about how their love at first sight, their marrage, their so called 'wonderful' phenomenon together as a couple...then they went about asking me....constantly asking how i was, and how my love life was turning out...truth is....my love life blows aunt sally, totally....... i came to realize that love, is like a contract, that both party must agree to....inorder to begin any type of start....both parties must feel the same about each other.....heres my story.....bare with me here....if anyones reading this....bare with me....it was 7th grade i remember...how clearly it was....it took place in the liberary....i was playing a game chess with my peer....and this girl walked by and started to talk to my fellow peer...she interrupted this game we were in, and then i was soon....annoyed...i even asked her to leave us alone to finish up this game we were in....at that time i was a big time geek....i loved chess....actaully i still do....where were we.....hm...okay...she sat down started to question me about my rudeness....then quickly asked where i was from...what kinda food i like eat....it was awkward....i never had a converstation like that with a girl....sure i talk girls, but that converstation was unique, and stood out from the rest...the liberary was closing up...we walked outside.....to the front entrance of the school...i told her i need to walk to the liberary....and she agreed to accompany me.....she questioned about my strange looking case, and asked if i played an instrument....indeed i did....i played the violin, i was the top10 in my school, the second violins.....then her mom arrived....she got in...closed the door, as the car departed....i saw her on the back window...staring at me...till the car disappeared from the street....it felt wierd...i remembered i bothered everyone of my friends, family, and teacher about this matter....yeah...i went to teachers and my parents, saying this strange girl is stalking me....*shrugs*...the next day, she asked me to the dance....the valintines dance......shocked...i was speechless, first i told her friend, that i just want to be her friend...and only friend, then i ran to catch her back and told her, yes indeed i want to go out with her.....i think at that point either i should of gotten to know her more....or i should just be her friend......anyway....the dance night.....i was nervious as hell...i mean i took 3 showers, that hour.....brushed my teeth atleast 6 times and when i got there, i asked her....if she'd like to dance with me, she said no, ran away....and when her friends draged her to me.....she threw herself to the gound....ouch....i just freaked..then i sat there on the ground and thought about what i did wrong......what was the perpose of this trip? why had i come here to sit on the hard stubborn floor and listen to music and watch people dance for 4 hours? it was already 9:30, i been waiting for ....close to about 3 hours...i went outside wanted to call my mom to pick me up...but the principle refused to let me out, i then moved my place to outside...to the benches.....all her friends gathered and stared at me from a distance...as if i was some monster.....atlast, i danced with her yes...but i was mad...i didnt look at her...i was confused....i danced with a few of her friends....she asked me if i liked her friend....i said yea...but then...at that moment...i was too sure...she confused me far too much...but i nodded anyway....after that dance, i never spoke to her talked to her, or even took at her anymore.....she was my class TA....at times i had to look at her....shes so different from the other girls.....it was then i would start avoiding her...till now...im going to college....and so is she.......we are both seniors...and i havent said anything in 6 years.....i feel confused...but i went up to her one of those days and tapped her on the shoulder...and said...hey whats up? do you remember me? then i think i told her i wanted to hang out with her, bt i didnt remember...i was nerious, my legs shivered.....i dont know what to do...shes gone now, to college, and the conflict in which i wanted to resolve, DID NOT.....so can i have some inputs here?

07-03-2003, 08:49 PM	#1 (permalink)
diulasing123 Upright	love is a bitch It feels better to share it with someone....even if no one reads it....im still sharing it...atleast once over to myself .... i dont think love is a fortunate thing to experience at all....people all around me...... friends, family, relatives...whatever...they keep bragging about how their love at first sight, their marrage, their so called 'wonderful' phenomenon together as a couple...then they went about asking me....constantly asking how i was, and how my love life was turning out...truth is....my love life blows aunt sally, totally....... i came to realize that love, is like a contract, that both party must agree to....inorder to begin any type of start....both parties must feel the same about each other.....heres my story.....bare with me here....if anyones reading this....bare with me....it was 7th grade i remember...how clearly it was....it took place in the liberary....i was playing a game chess with my peer....and this girl walked by and started to talk to my fellow peer...she interrupted this game we were in, and then i was soon....annoyed...i even asked her to leave us alone to finish up this game we were in....at that time i was a big time geek....i loved chess....actaully i still do....where were we.....hm...okay...she sat down started to question me about my rudeness....then quickly asked where i was from...what kinda food i like eat....it was awkward....i never had a converstation like that with a girl....sure i talk girls, but that converstation was unique, and stood out from the rest...the liberary was closing up...we walked outside.....to the front entrance of the school...i told her i need to walk to the liberary....and she agreed to accompany me.....she questioned about my strange looking case, and asked if i played an instrument....indeed i did....i played the violin, i was the top10 in my school, the second violins.....then her mom arrived....she got in...closed the door, as the car departed....i saw her on the back window...staring at me...till the car disappeared from the street....it felt wierd...i remembered i bothered everyone of my friends, family, and teacher about this matter....yeah...i went to teachers and my parents, saying this strange girl is stalking me....shrugs...the next day, she asked me to the dance....the valintines dance......shocked...i was speechless, first i told her friend, that i just want to be her friend...and only friend, then i ran to catch her back and told her, yes indeed i want to go out with her.....i think at that point either i should of gotten to know her more....or i should just be her friend......anyway....the dance night.....i was nervious as hell...i mean i took 3 showers, that hour.....brushed my teeth atleast 6 times and when i got there, i asked her....if she'd like to dance with me, she said no, ran away....and when her friends draged her to me.....she threw herself to the gound....ouch....i just freaked..then i sat there on the ground and thought about what i did wrong......what was the perpose of this trip? why had i come here to sit on the hard stubborn floor and listen to music and watch people dance for 4 hours? it was already 9:30, i been waiting for ....close to about 3 hours...i went outside wanted to call my mom to pick me up...but the principle refused to let me out, i then moved my place to outside...to the benches.....all her friends gathered and stared at me from a distance...as if i was some monster.....atlast, i danced with her yes...but i was mad...i didnt look at her...i was confused....i danced with a few of her friends....she asked me if i liked her friend....i said yea...but then...at that moment...i was too sure...she confused me far too much...but i nodded anyway....after that dance, i never spoke to her talked to her, or even took at her anymore.....she was my class TA....at times i had to look at her....shes so different from the other girls.....it was then i would start avoiding her...till now...im going to college....and so is she.......we are both seniors...and i havent said anything in 6 years.....i feel confused...but i went up to her one of those days and tapped her on the shoulder...and said...hey whats up? do you remember me? then i think i told her i wanted to hang out with her, bt i didnt remember...i was nerious, my legs shivered.....i dont know what to do...shes gone now, to college, and the conflict in which i wanted to resolve, DID NOT.....so can i have some inputs here?