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asudevil83 · 07-01-2003, 12:17 AM

i'm going to try to just get this to the point without too much BS so here goes.

i'm just 20 and i've been going out with this girl whose 18 (19 in a couple months) for a couple weeks now. i've known her for a little over a month, but it took me a couple weeks to make the first move. but anyways...we get along great. we've gone out numerous times, talk on the phone for hours at a time, and always have some sort of conversation going on. from the very moment i met her, i knew something was special about her, like she may be my match. quite frankly i've fallen for her, fallen hard.

but a few problems concerning pasts have gotten in the way of me taking charge and trying to take this to the next level (exclusively together). either something with my past or hers, where one of us puts up a guard so that me or her wont get hurt again.

1. something that was an issue in the beginning, but has been delt with in the fact i'm pretty good friends with this girls older sister. i've known the older sister for a few years, and i'm probably her best guy friend. also me and her had little make out session a few months back....where i was drunk and she was sober. but other than that nothing has happened at all between the two of us, and i feel no attraction towards her.

2. another thing that bothers me sometimes is how she was engaged to some guy. but about about a year it fell apart. yeah, it sounds REALLY crazy, and just from that i know many of you would probably say i should back off. its kinda a long story on that but to make it short....basically he went off to the marines, cheated on her numerous times, lied about it, she found out, and she hasnt talked to him since. she's learned her lesson though.
i do kinda get the feeling though that she doesnt want to let herself get hurt again, by keeping a distance sometimes.

3. and me...well, i've been dicked over a couple times. i think its gotten to me too. where i just expect something bad to happen, like her finding some other guy and me getting screwed over again.

4. also (and this makes me feel a little bit uncomfortable) is that i've got a bit of a disability. basically some shit happened while i was being delivered, that left me with less that normal use of my arm. i dont think of it as a huge deal, but it is an insecurity because i dont know how others take it. i personally feel that i'm just lucky to be alive.

so i guess i'm just trying to figure out what to do. i mean, the logical thing would be to just go for it. there isnt any reason i should kid myself. either its going somewhere or nowhere...and by not doing anything about it i'm just postponing either the good or the bad.

so to all....what should this man (meaning me) do in this situation? and without totally spilling my guts and scaring her off, how should i tell her that i'm looking for something more in this?

07-01-2003, 12:17 AM	#1 (permalink)
asudevil83 Psycho Location: Scottsdale, AZ	help...relationship stuff i'm going to try to just get this to the point without too much BS so here goes. i'm just 20 and i've been going out with this girl whose 18 (19 in a couple months) for a couple weeks now. i've known her for a little over a month, but it took me a couple weeks to make the first move. but anyways...we get along great. we've gone out numerous times, talk on the phone for hours at a time, and always have some sort of conversation going on. from the very moment i met her, i knew something was special about her, like she may be my match. quite frankly i've fallen for her, fallen hard. but a few problems concerning pasts have gotten in the way of me taking charge and trying to take this to the next level (exclusively together). either something with my past or hers, where one of us puts up a guard so that me or her wont get hurt again. 1. something that was an issue in the beginning, but has been delt with in the fact i'm pretty good friends with this girls older sister. i've known the older sister for a few years, and i'm probably her best guy friend. also me and her had little make out session a few months back....where i was drunk and she was sober. but other than that nothing has happened at all between the two of us, and i feel no attraction towards her. 2. another thing that bothers me sometimes is how she was engaged to some guy. but about about a year it fell apart. yeah, it sounds REALLY crazy, and just from that i know many of you would probably say i should back off. its kinda a long story on that but to make it short....basically he went off to the marines, cheated on her numerous times, lied about it, she found out, and she hasnt talked to him since. she's learned her lesson though. i do kinda get the feeling though that she doesnt want to let herself get hurt again, by keeping a distance sometimes. 3. and me...well, i've been dicked over a couple times. i think its gotten to me too. where i just expect something bad to happen, like her finding some other guy and me getting screwed over again. 4. also (and this makes me feel a little bit uncomfortable) is that i've got a bit of a disability. basically some shit happened while i was being delivered, that left me with less that normal use of my arm. i dont think of it as a huge deal, but it is an insecurity because i dont know how others take it. i personally feel that i'm just lucky to be alive. so i guess i'm just trying to figure out what to do. i mean, the logical thing would be to just go for it. there isnt any reason i should kid myself. either its going somewhere or nowhere...and by not doing anything about it i'm just postponing either the good or the bad. so to all....what should this man (meaning me) do in this situation? and without totally spilling my guts and scaring her off, how should i tell her that i'm looking for something more in this?