Leviathan[NCV]

I'm hoping you guys can provide a little insight, as I'm a tad hot on the issue right now.

A little background: I'm a bastard child; my father is a police officer in the phoenix area, paid child support for the last 16 or so years. Likes to offer things, but when it comes to calling him on them, he can back out of situation in the lamest way. No longer in contact with him nor will I ever be.
My mother basically raised me for 15 years, (long, screwed up joy), and then she met this guy on the internet who lived in Alaska, and I suppose things went well. We moved up there, and about 8 months later they got married.
I hate this guy, with every last part of me, and I would like nothing more than to be the cause of his removal from this earth. No, this is not just misguided teenage rage, it is a simple amount of built up hate that came over the years. Anyone and everyone who followed along with the situation could understand it, and overwhelmingly agreed with it, yes even a professional counselor. I've missed my entire high school years due to him (no, I never went to high school), and to a lesser extent my mother, who simply follows. He is simply a grade A asshole.
About three years ago their efforts to have a child resulted in my half brother, who is autistic. The father's side of the family has some... less than adept people. He still doesn’t talk, but is a quite happy child. Ignorance is bliss, and it holds so very true.
I finally left home thanks to the graciousness of my family members, who gave me a great home for 8 months, as they knew what a screwed up situation I was coming from and did everything they could to steer me in the right direction. Bit of a tight situation, but was extremely beneficial in my journey of life. In October, as I was still a resident of Alaska, I would be receiving my dividend. In a few emails with my mother, she had mentioned that 'they have been doing a lot of checking in to see if people are still in state'. Of course this did nothing but bring me to the realization that she was pondering keeping it herself. Even the thought that she would do something like that agitated me beyond belief. I did something wrong, and checked her email (it's hosted on my server) and found a message from her husband stating 'I can't tell you what to do with Leviathan's dividend, only you can decide'. This brought on rather large amount of anger from my end, and I completely disowned her for the better part of a month. It would still be this way had not my family strongly stressed to repair the relationship now, as I would want it when I got older. I then moved to Tacoma, with an extremely good friend of mine whom I roomated with for three months, before I got a good chunk of money, and he forced me to fly.
Since then, life hasn’t been half bad.
But then to present day, my savings is down, I'm out of work, an entire month in two days, and have roughly 4 months left after paying for school (going to college full time - year round). My school schedule is extremely busy, I have two hardcore math classes every quarter, which I need to receive a 3.0 in or better in order to continue to the university I wish to go to. This makes finding a job hard, let alone that even working full time at McDonalds just won't pay all the bills.
Tonight, as I did a quick alt-tab out of a game of diablo2 with a friend, I find an email from someone I knew from when I lived in Colorado (who recently married a nice girl in Alaska), stating that there's been a problem with my mother, and he doesn't know what’s going on.
So I call the number stated, and talk to my mother. Seems some sort of altercation in-between her and my step dad happened, and he filed assault charges on her. The story I got from my mother was "he was carrying (half-brother) and wouldn't give him to me (blah). I do not doubt that she may have hit him, but this is most definitely a first time incident. She mentioned that I may need to come up there to help out. There is nothing I can really help with, and chances are all I'll do is get myself into a problem, that while I'll get out of, still can't deal with properly at this point in time.

I want no part of this whole situation, I moved out for a reason, and never wish to go back for any more than a visit. To such an extent that I will kill myself before that happens.
While, there are very very few things that would make me happier than paying my stepfather back for those years, I quite outpace him in both size and strength, I know that it will likely lead to a loss of control, and I do not wish to handle the consequences of killing a man. There is nothing I can offer my mother, besides the fact that she has no choice but to repair her relationship with her husband. She is disabled, overweight, and quickly developing diabetes. She can't work, and taking care of my brother is a full time job within itself. Despite all this, she *is* my mother.

If you actually took the time to read all of this, I appreciate your concern, and this was mainly just someplace for me to organize all of my thoughts at the moment, as well as calm down, as a time of rage is no place for logical thinking. I’d appreciate your thoughts on the whole situation.

Thanks,

Leviathan