Thanks to all of you who have shared your own stories - I am so sorry for your loss, and I hope it helps you to be able to share it here. I'm glad there's hope for better times.
And I'm just blown away by the love and compassion this community has to offer to total strangers. It's such a gift, and it leaves me very touched. Not just what you've shown me, but other people in other forums as well. Thank you.
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Originally posted by Balaniki
My biggest advice - go see someone. A counselor, a therapist, a shrink - call them what you will. It made a world of difference for me!
Also helped me realize that I was suffering from depression - and it dated back long before my mother died.
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I am in cognitive behavior therapy now, and was for about 4 months before this happened - I was having panic attacks and mild depression. I'd made so much progress, and I can't imagine where I would be now if I hadn't dealt with a lot of the stuff I'd dealt with in therapy in those few months. I have a great therapist who's helping me through this, though I may start trying to see him more frequently, just for now.
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Talk to your husband. Ask him to come to the therapist with you. Help him to understand that the emotional injury to your mind is the same as a serious injury to your body. It will take time to heal.
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I think he's realized that - he's never been through anything like this, and it maybe just took him some time to get over his own fears and sadness. He's been much more understanding recently. And I don't think it's coincidence that I've been feeling much better, too, recently. It helps to just have the room to be however I am. I had quite a few good days where I enjoyed doing stuff, and could think of Josh and laugh instead of bursting into tears. That said, I followed it up with a few days of weepy funk. I guess that's just how it's going to be for a while - good days and bad days. I'm tempted to try to "drive" things, to try to control how I'm feeling, but maybe for now I should just go with it and let it be.
Thanks again, everyone. All of your stories and experiences and advice are very much appreciated.
P.S. I happened to be out late tonight checking out the Harry Potter madness with a friend of mine. On the way home we passed a kid hitchhiking. I don't ordinarily pick up hitchhikers but I saw that he had a skateboard and I HAD to stop. Very nice kid who was working late and missed the bus and had a 3-hour walk home along busy, badly lit roads with no sidewalks. I was glad I was able to help and get him home safe. I know it would have made Josh proud of me. Just wanted to share that. Makes me feel a little closer to him.