|
Somenosuke... excellent point. You sum it up completely. There should never be the need to cheat, male or female. Why? Because you owe it to your partner to stay committed. And if you don't want to be committed any longer, GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE RELATIONSHIP before fucking someone else. If there is something that you really love about the person that keeps you from ending the relationship, but the sex is no good, MAKE THE SEX GOOD. If the relationship is worth it, then the effort this requires is worth it too.
Have I cheated in a relationship? No. I haven't had to. There was one opportunity I had, with a girlfriend (in a relationship of her own) of the girl I was dating, with whom there was a mutual attraction. When we realized this, and that the seeds existed for a relationship to develop between us, we both broke up with our current SO's and started dating. We had a great relationship for a long time primarily because it didn't have to be hidden and there was no guilt involved. Yes, it took our old SO's a while to get over it, but they later told us both that they were glad we didn't cheat on them.
Have I been cheated on? Of course. Did I kick her to the curb? Sure. But not before explaining that all I would have asked was that I be broken up with first before she decided to sleep with half of a fighter squadron. At the time, I might have made a half-assed attempt to keep her, but all I would have needed was for her to say, "I no longer desire a long-term relationship with you. Instead, since I'm young, attractive, and right now have the opportunity to have lots and lots of casual sex with many different men, I think it's only fair to ask you to terminate the relationship so you don't get hurt." I wouldn't have taken it personally, some women (and men, of course) think they're ready to commit to a relationship but find out that they aren't. Or, at least, not with that particular person. The world would be a nicer place if they'd just be honest with their partner first.
Now, all this assumes that at the pivotal moment, when you have the opportunity and the means to actually cheat, that you are able to exercise the self control to stop yourself until you get the chance to either reconsider, or end your current relationship. I suspect this is where mot people have their trouble.
-Mikey
|