Thread: Dilemmas...TLDR
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Old 07-26-2011, 09:13 PM   #5 (permalink)
Poetry
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This goes back to what most of us said to your initial posts in this forum, so I'm just going to copy and paste what I said to you that time, which has, as far as I can tell from this thread's info, proven to be true.

Quote:
Dump her.

Not because she didn't fulfill your "fetish" wish, but because of how she responded. She has no respect for you or your desires. She has, according to your description, the upper hand in the relationship.

Even if you two were on equal footing, she would have not reacted the way she did.

I mean, you took the time and overcame the hurdle of your shyness and discomfort in order to communicate to her something very important to you and she basically spit on you in response. Her actions were along the lines of women who catch their boyfriends masturbating and say, "Oh, no, you are not doing that in this relationship".

She should not be dictating the terms of your sex life, and that's what she just did.

Leave her and find someone who respects you and your needs, or at least is willing to actually discuss them. Christ.
See, I'd write something new and more exacting, but I don't think you're going to listen. You're going to try to hold fast in the relationship as long as you can because ending it hurts like hell and it's frightening. I've done the same myself, and I'll likely do the same again.

But, it's highly likely that this relationship will implode on itself as your sexuality warps and she continues to lose respect in you. If you're lucky, that will happen during a time where it doesn't impact your professional or academic life. If, however, you're like the rest of us, the rising stress in your professional life will aggravate your personal life (or vice versa) and they'll both go to shit at the same time. Whee.

I don't mean to be a bitch, I really, really don't, but in my opinion you are posting these questions here in an attempt to delay your own growing knowledge of the situation and, at the same time, hoping that someone here will provide the shining golden path/excuse to successfully staying with her. It's pointless.

So, for your future reference, here's a clip of an email I wrote to another young TFPer who requested some advice. Read it, hopefully remember it for the next go-round, if you aren't too psychologically scarred from this one to ever have a normal relationship again. This sounds like prime breeding ground for becoming an MRA or a basic, woman-hating PUA, but that's just my opinion.

Quote:
On relationships...

TIP #16: Talk about sex. Find out what she likes. Ask her about fantasies. Share some of yours. Disclosure will make her more comfortable with telling you her fantasies. And, if she's nice and you're lucky, maybe she'll surprise you by helping fulfill a wilder fantasy of yours for your birthday.

TIP #17: Never date a girl that makes you feel ashamed of your sex drive or what you want in bed. How do you do this..?

TIP #18: IMPORTANT! Set a precedent. Do NOT start a relationship bowing to everything she wants to do in bed and not pushing the limits. When you start a relationship, yes, you need to consider what she wants and what she's comfortable with, but you also need to make sure you are honest with the both of you about what you want out of your sex life. It's not good to start dating a shy girl and then start getting resentful several months in because she won't do doggy style. The first time you need to have sex, you need to go through various positions, push the envelope, so she knows what you want.

Remember, just because you care about someone and they care about you does not mean you're sexually compatible.
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