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"Rape" has a legal defintion, fixed by statute in all 50 states. Here in NY, for example, the definition of rape -- what you need to do in order to be convicted -- is:
S 130.35 Rape in the first degree.
A person is guilty of rape in the first degree when he or she engages
in sexual intercourse with another person:
1. By forcible compulsion; or
2. Who is incapable of consent by reason of being physically helpless;
or
3. Who is less than eleven years old; or
4. Who is less than thirteen years old and the actor is eighteen years
old or more.
Section 130.00.8. "Forcible compulsion" means to compel by either:
a. use of physical force; or
b. a threat, express or implied, which places a person in fear of
immediate death or physical injury to himself, herself or another
person, or in fear that he, she or another person will immediately be
kidnapped.
I would guess most states have similar definitions.
That's not the same thing as "rape" as the word is used colloquially or academically. Entire dissertations have been constructed about what is and isn't or should and shouldn't be viewed as rape, some of which is so abstract as to be gibberish. And of course private institutions, such as universities, can impose their own definitions as well.
I have a very simple rule of conduct in these matters: behave like a civilized and considerate human being, and you won't have any problems. And if you do, you're not the one with the problem.
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